CHRISTMAS ROBOT

Having set Nërp and his Xmas tree up on the platform at Uckfield Station, Wilson hung some decorations on the tree while explaining to Nërp that, while Uckfield Station was a bit smaller than London St Pancras, London had many railway stations while Uckfield has but one – thus giving him a 'total monopoly' on rail commuters.

The London St Pancras Xmas Tree and Robot periodically dispense a puff of Chanel Perfume to distract the passing wage-slaves from their daily grind. 

Wilson told Nërp that Chanel was an unnecessary extravagance, so he's bought an AirWick Air Freshener which Nërp will intermittently squirt at people as they pass by. 

I wonder how that's going to be received by an unsuspecting public, particularly after the recent Novichok poisonings…