IS FOOTBALL COMING HOME?

Wilson was in the garden discussing yesterday’s match with the sTone Brothers. 

When the Uckfield Bees play, their usual position is Left and Right Goal Posts, so their knowledge of The Beautiful Game is about as shallow as W’s – but none of them let cluelessness stand between them and a good chat as they discussed such topics as:

•   Is Football Really Coming Home?
•   What does that even mean?
•   Should the Half-Time Break be extended if some of the players need a bit of a nap?
and
•   Should the Handball Rule be relaxed if all the players have paws?

Suddenly, though, the air was rent by W screaming, ‘New Dad! New Dad! Come quick – something’s happened!’

I ran out into the garden to see what had occurred, and to determine whether First Aid would be necessary…