BEST MAN'S SPEECH

Wilson's speech was received very well — I hope he won't be offended if I say surprisingly well. 

Before the applause had died down he snatched up his guitar and started singing a song he'd written for the wedding, called Wedding Bee Blues, because it's based on a similar song he wrote when the Bees got married: 

     'Woke up this morning
          Climbed out of my bed,
     Well, I woke up this morning
          Climbed out of my soft, warm bed,
     Then I suddenly remembered:
          Ms Julia's gettin' wed!'

... and so on, for several more verses.

His claws kept getting stuck in the strings during the chord changes, but overall it sounded pretty good, all things considered, and he's almost mastered the Bob Dylan voice. Dylan: the Late Years 'helium' version, that is…

As his song ended, and just as he was about to segue into Disco Hits From the Eighties on his spoons and kazoo, I whispered into his ear, 'Why not leave them wanting more?' 

Removing the kazoo from his mouth he replied, 'I've got you, New Dad; I'll do this later — when everyone's dancing and had a bit more to drink!'

Finally, before the toasts began, Wilson passed among the bemused guests handing out flyers advertising his 'Surprisingly Inexpensive' Speech Writing Service...