BUCKET AND SPADE

Next it was time to choose and buy what Wilson calls his 'holiday essentials' — bucket and spade, bats and balls, shrimping nets and several gaudily-coloured plastic items whose purpose I could not even begin guess at. 

When he emerged from the shop, he hailed me, 'Hey Dude! Look at my Primo Stuff! Now let's Safari!'

As we set off, he remarked, 'Man, is this totally tubular, or what?! Carpet Diem!'

I'll tell you what was 'tubular' — if tubular means wholly and utterly unexpected: the next shop Wilson went into...