TONGUE CONTEST

While settling an argument by means of a 'Who's Got The Longest Tongue' ant eating competition in the garden, I overheard Byron remark that, even for a human, I appeared to have an unusually short tongue.

Well really — I can confidently state for the record that I've never had any complaints!

So I was shocked when Wilson replied that he had been worried about it for some time, though he hadn't liked to mention it to me for fear of hurting my feelings.

Byron suggested that I might benefit from some tongue-stretching exercises. 

W agreed, and said that if they didn't work, he would devise some kind of tongue stretching apparatus for me to wear at night. 

I REALLY don't like the sound of this!