NINETEEN EIGHTY-FOUR

Wilson, still stuck for plot ideas for his novel All Ants Are Not The Same, has decided to go straight to the horse's mouth, so to speak — he's interviewing the residents (AKA inmates) of his Luxury Ant Farm (AKA The Pantry) to see if they have any interesting family secrets etc.

So far all they have told him is, 'We Are Ant! Resistance Is Futile! You Will Be Assimilated!' which doesn't sound very hopeful to me, although it does tend to confirm Wilson's Mum, Mrs Vermilingua's thesis that ants are not individuals so may be safely eaten by a vegetarian.

At this rate, though, Wilson's novel will be a lot less Poldark and a lot more 1984...