F1 ENGINE

There was no way this oil-dripping crate was going into the living room — it wasn't even going into the house!

It was also far too heavy for Wilson's little truck, so with the help of a neighbour we carried it round to the back garden, where W opened it. 

Gazing at the contents, he seemed a little taken aback.

'I never expected it would be this... oily!' he exclaimed.

I asked him what it even was, and he told me that it was a Formula 1 Racing Car Engine he'd bought on eBay, which he intended to convert into a coffee table.

At this point the bees arrived carrying yard brooms and looking doubtfully at the oily stains spreading over the patio...