THE FINAL STRAW

Wilson returned to the kitchen to make himself a quad espresso and discovered Diesel with a protest banner sticking out of his bowl. 

'Et tu, Diesel?' he exclaimed, clapping his paw to his head.

Uncle Zoltan chose this moment to walk in carrying a placard claiming that Furbruary was unfair to bald insects.

'This has got totes out of hand! Furbruary is off!' Wilson shouted, and stormed out of the room. Before slamming the door, he added, 'In fact, February is off too! We shall move directly from January to March!'

I went after him to try to calm him down, but I found him sitting at his laptop banging at the keys. 

'You're too late, New Dad,' he told me. 'I've had enough — I'm writing to the Astronomer Royal to inform him he'll have to modify the calendar for this year to exclude February!'