THE FORCE AWAKENS

Wilson has asked me to apologise for his joke yesterday in case (being about someone dying) it was in bad taste. 

I told him not to worry about it — and indeed he soon had something else to worry about: avoiding getting his claws stuck in the escalator.

There were adverts everywhere for the new Star Wars film, The Force Awakens. I asked W whether he'd like to see it but, having auditioned unsuccessfully for the lead role, it's a bit of a sore point. 

'Thanks, New Dad,' he replied after a moment's thought, 'but I'll probably wait until it comes on Sky Movies...'