The Facts of Life

Hi, this is Polly-B and Billi-B, the Bees, guesting on Wilson's 'Antwars 2' Blog once again.

Today we will start to tell you the true facts about the Birds and the Bees, sometimes called The Facts Of Life!

First of all, forget all the fairy-tales about ovipositors and suchlike you may have heard, the truth is much, much worse…

One day each year, called BeeDay, all the young girl bees dress up as Princesses in tiaras and tutus. Some of the boy bees do the same, but make no mistake: the Hive is not an equal-opportunity environment, and they soon get asked to leave.

Then all the little princess bees take part in a beauty pageant, to see which is the most beautifulest, friendliest and kindest bee of all. I'm not going to lie, this does involve a fair amount of eye-gouging, wing-pulling and leg-biting — quite a lot like your human Miss World contest.

Then finally, one princess bee remains conscious and able to walk down the bee-walk [it's like a cat-walk, but smaller and with more pollen] and is crowned Queen Bee!

Next month, we'll tell you what happens thereafter… but before that, here is an important announcement: 

If you should come across an exhausted bee on the ground, it's probably been overworking. Please dissolve a little sugar in a teaspoon of water and offer it to the bee. This could actually save its life!