At last I've found out what's going on. Wilson sat me down today to summarise the problem and disclose his solution.
'Look, New Dad,' he started, 'we've got a brilliant idea that's almost ready to make me, um well US obviously, a million: Oddsies! We've got the packaging and the publicity, but we can't afford to buy the stock. We need to raise money, and raise it fast!'
I nodded, encouragingly.
'So we're going to run a Benefit Concert! We're going to turn the old "Trading4U" warehouse into a pop-up nightclub. Pop-ups are very popular right now!'
'So who's going to perform in this nightclub that people will pay to see, but won't require any fees?' I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.
'ROCKSY MUSIC!' he exclaimed, triumphantly. 'They are the new Art-Rock Sensation! And as it happens, I am their promoter, manager and songwriter.'
With a flourish he produced a flyer for the band, proclaiming, 'Ta-Dah! What do you think? You can help me fly-post them all over Uckfield! Brilliant or what?'
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