Today, according to Wilson (and he has research to back this up) is International Guinness World Record Day. He decided to mount an attempt on the Most Ants Eaten in 60 Seconds record, and when I came down to breakfast this morning I found the kitchen awash with ants and Wilson wielding a stopwatch.
He handed me the stopwatch, shouted 'GO!' and started eating for all he was worth. After 60 seconds I cried 'STOP!'
'So, how many ants did I eat?' he asked me.
'I've no idea,' I replied, 'I thought you'd be counting.'
'Oh, do I have to do EVERYTHING? Eat AND count? I am an elite athlete, you know. Well, as it happens I was counting and I calculate that I consumed 499,999. Oh, excuse me,' (he swallowed noisily) 'as you were, 500,000 ants.'
I asked him whether that broke the current record, and he told me that there is no current record for eating ants, so he has set the benchmark for others to follow.
I remarked that half a million was a very round number, but W was in no mood to have the accuracy of his count challenged; he was off and dancing round the kitchen doing 'The Wilbot' and shouting, 'I Am Officially Amazing!'.
The Wilbot is something he invented during the Olympics, but until today he's not had the chance to use it.
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