I've recently been diagnosed with diabetes. Since Wilson does all the food shopping and the cooking I thought I'd better tell him about it, and this morning I did.
'My mum, Mrs Vermilingua, used to get diabetes a lot when I was little,' he replied. 'She used to treat herself and it would go away in a couple of days.'
'Really?' I asked, 'How did she treat it?'
'Well, she'd drink a lot to keep her fluids up. Gin mostly. And she'd eat some ant yoghourt and take a lot of rest. She'd go to bed for days, eating only iced buns with butter and ants. Then she'd get better.'
This sounded much better to me than drugs, a restricted diet and constant blood tests, so when W offered to bring me some yoghourt and gin with a buttered iced bun I agreed immediately.
Just as he was leaving the room he stopped and thought for a moment, before suddenly announcing, 'No!'
'No?' I asked. 'No what?'
'No, it wasn't diabetes, it was diarrhoea.'
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