Big Brother started last night, and together we watched a sorry procession of no-hope nonentities attempt to outdo each other in shallowness before trooping into the cauldron that is the BB House.
Wilson watched with growing dismay before eventually covering his eyes with his paw and asking, 'Is there a Critical Mass for egos? There is clearly an excess of self-esteem in there, and in that confined space I fear there may be a exponential reaction.'
I found it difficult to disagree with him.
'Also,' he continued, 'Mr Brian Dowling is starting to look a bit puffy in the face. I shall send him a jar of my ant face-pack. I'm certain he will find it beneficial.'
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